People Will Judge You No Matter What

Prestige comes with a price, and I mean more than dollars.

I wanted to write to pass on a story from a different angle than what’s usually here. I recently experienced what it also means to have something of quality and to have to deal with the ramifications of that, which impact you in a whole different and surprising way than not having something.

For a few days thanks to a friend who is doing fairly well, I was able to borrow his car since I need to buy a new one and can’t do it for a few weeks. Well, his car isn’t just any car, it is a fancy big, new BMW. I gotta tell you I’ve never even ridden in a BMW let alone driven one. So it was quite the treat.

But here is what I discovered. People judge you as much for having a nice car as they do for having a cheap car. This surprised me. But I definitely noticed people staring at me when I passed by or got out of the car. I’m not saying they necessarily thought badly of me. But it was clear they were forming opinions whereas when I got out of my old car, they either didn’t notice me or made opinions that I didn’t have much.

While this kind of car is nice and makes most people think you have status or money, I realized I don’t like the attention. I just want to be me, neither being judged as rich or poor. Which is why I’m sticking to a nice but middle of the road kind of car when I can afford one, because I also realized I couldn’t relax driving that expensive car, always worried about nicks or scratches.

It’s funny how you learn lessons in life and this one kind of surprised me. Just wanted to share it.

Casey James/Pittsburgh, PA

My Electricity Was Cut Off and It Was Great

Sorry I’ve been out for a bit. Been dealing with a few things one of which is the fact that I got behind on my light bill and my lights were cut off over the weekend. I’m actually writing this at the public library. I got the money together and to the power company but it was past the time for them being able to send someone out to get it back on. And to my surprise they don’t come out on the weekend.

Let me tell you something, there are worst things in the world and thankfully this time of the year there seems to be more daylight than night so it is not so bad. We get plenty of sun in the house during the day so we’re cool. At night we gather around candles like the old days and guess what we do, we talk as a family! And it is wonderful.

Strange how it took the lights going out to remind us of what’s important. Usually at night, the three kids, the wife and I, all spend the evening in separate rooms for the most part, each watching different shows until bedtime. With the lights out we didn’t have that choice so we got together and talked. And reconnected on many levels. We all loved it.

Now we are promising to have a “no electricity” evening once a week (not a real cut-off of course, just one where we voluntarily turn everything off) so that we can connect again just like this weekend. Funny how not having something makes you realize how much you really have.

Chief Survivor

Tough Times Don’t Outlast Tough People

I appreciate this blog so much right now. Glad I found it. You’re right, we really do have to laugh instead of crying. My wife and I have been out of work for a about half a year as we try to find other suitable work besides the temporary, low-paying jobs that won’t really help us. And unemployment pay only goes so far. So we have been struggling mightily to hang in there. We’ve done it all, had to juggle bills, had to borrow from family and friends, are behind in rent, you name it.

But we too laugh as much as possible because we do realize that we have each other and we have our health. I wouldn’t trade these financial problems for those. So to anybody else out there, do hang tough. As the saying goes, tough times don’t last but tough people do. Or something like that.

Thanks again.

Javier P. , Sacramento, CA

Hiding The Car From The Repo Man

O.K. here comes a crazy one.

Not too long ago I got behind on my car payment by a couple of months and despite my plea with the finance company to let me work out partial payments until I could catch up, they were hearing nothing of it. They wanted the past due amount in full or the car.

Well I didn’t have the past due amount in full so they said they were going to have to pick the car up and that I could get it back when I came up with the money, as long as I did so before they auctioned it off.

Hey I needed my car if I had any shot at keeping my job. So I couldn’t let them take it. So thus began the game of “Where To Park The Car Tonight?”

For almost three weeks, every night I parked the car in different places, places not close to my apartment, because I knew they would circle the block looking for it. A different place every night, sometimes a friend’s place, sometimes a store lot, I was creative to say the least. Thank goodness this was an older car and they had no tracker on it. And I know they were looking. Every once in a while I would see tow trucks in the hood at night. Even at work I had to park blocks away, in hidden places, in alleys. I did pretty good if I do say so, and hey the extra blocks I walked was good exercise.

I did this long enough til I could put together the back payments and get it to ‘em, about three weeks. And when I went in to pay, I even took the bus just to be sure it was all cool with the payment.

And even the assistant manager in there laughed and said I was lucky cuz they were sure looking to grab the car. Well, you do what you gotta do. I knew they were gonna get paid and I needed the car, so in the long run everybody made out. And I even got some extra exercise.

Though it wasn’t fun looking over my shoulder for three weeks, worried whenever I saw a tow truck.

Jason B.

What’s In This?

Simple, delicious and above all, cheap.

One of the toughest and most creative aspects of not having a lot of money is figuring out how to keep supper on the table and not have to eat the same thing all the time. I mean there’s only so many times you can eat spaghetti or beans and rice, right?

I have to say I have become quite creative with my meals and in fact my family can eat pasta and spaghetti sauce for four days in a row and not even know they are essentially eating the same meal each of those days. It’s all in the spices, how the meat is cooked and how you present it. I’ve actually had them comment on how great the meal was, even though they ate a different version of the same thing days before. I take great pride in coming up with varieties.

In fact I have come to have even more respect for chefs now because you realize how much creativity goes into creating dishes. Sometimes you create out of a desire to be different or impress, like a great chef. And other times you create simply because you only have so many things in the kitchen and you’re sitting there going, now I have some ground beef, some rice, some of this and some of that, and then before you know it, you’ve put something on the table even you’ve never seen before, mixing things not meant to be together.

We should start a cookbook called “Recipes Made From What Was Left Over.” Hey I’ve made some I bet you guys would pay for in a restaurant. Maybe I’m a chef and didn’t know it.

Karen B.                                                                                                                                               Peoria, IL

The Motherhood of Invention

I wanted to jump back in to the mix here and make a couple of points.

I heard from a couple of people that this blog sure means a lot to them to know that they aren’t crazy for some of the stunts they’ve pulled to help get from one week to the next. I’m glad it serves that purpose. That is one of the reasons it was started. We didn’t want anyone thinking they were the Lone Ranger out there. Lots of folks, many in the middle class, have to juggle the bills every once in a while. It ain’t about being poor all the time.

Yeah sometimes we all have to do some crazy ass shit to get by, and you know what, as long as you’re not stealing to get it done, what’s the shame? If anything, I think we are some truly creative people when I hear some of the things people do. That’s not a bad thing.

The other point I want to make is this. Living one check away from the edge is never a fun or safe place. Which is why we gotta keep laughing and keep each other company, and above all stay positive. Bills are only one aspect of your life. Put it in the proper perspective and you’ll be o.k. And by all means, share if you came up with a good way around a problem.

Chief Survivor

When Money Gets Between Friends

This would probably fall under the “Robbing Peter to pay Paul” category.

I know I’m not the only person who has to regularly do that thing where you only have so much money and too many bills, so you gotta decide who is going to get paid and who you’re going to have to let slide this month. I hate doing that and I know it is hurting my already messed up credit. But one solution I’ve found that is just not worth it to solve your problem is borrowing from friends.

I know you’ve heard about this before, but I’ve done it and its true. I’ve been in a slump shall we say, for about a year, and about four times I’ve turned to friends for help (my family is in no position to help). Here are the outcomes:

-one relationship has not been the same since I was late paying them back,

-one friend, told other friends about my problem, which irked me, and now that relationship is strained,

-one friend lectured me about my choices, though they loaned me the money, and now I can’t say we see each other the same way,

-another friend gave me the money freely, and even when I was late getting them the money, everything was cool and we’re still the same.

That’s 1 for 4 in terms of it going well. That’s 3 relationships that won’t probably be the same because of asking them for money and money getting in the way of friendships. So there is indeed wisdom in that old saying about not borrowing from friends. It’s just not worth it. I know some people say if they’re truly friends then this wouldn’t be a problem. I disagree, I think money can change even the best of friends.

On a positive note, I did learn a lot about human nature from how all this went down. And I did learn how I want to be when people come to me for money (some day). If you have it to lend, then just give it, don’t lend it. Make it a gift. And if you don’t have it, by all means help the friend in other ways, lift them up, take them out, whatever. Be a friend. It’s better than money.

Melanie Shulman

The Most Important Things

I have to write and share this with you all since you guys seem to be going through the same things.

I am a single mother trying to take care of two young kids on a fast food job salary. I get by but you can imagine it’s tough.

But I want to say I am proud that I do a good job in my opinion. My kids don’t have a lot of things but we do get out and take advantage of a lot of free things in our small town. Luckily, there are a lot of people who seem to be doing what we do so the kids don’t seem to know we don’t have much.

The point then, of all this to me, is that not having money and things sometimes just makes us focus more on the simple stuff and I believe the simple things are really the most important things.

Valerie Bristol

Opportunists Or Vultures?

The vultures are circling.

I read this article on Yahoo News the other day and just had to tell ya’ll mytwo cents on this crap.

The article’s writer seems to take the attitude that storage unit auctions and the people who bid on these “left behind” items are a great business opportunity and the people bidding are something akin to treasure hunters.  I’m sorry, I take issue with that characterization.That’s pure, stinky, bulls**t.

The people who take advantage of these auctions are nothing more than vultures taking advantage of other people’s misfortune. There is no other way to look at it.

In the article, the writer refers to the auctioned units as items “left behind” when the owner/unit renter did not pay. Put another way, the right way, they are personal belongings that the owner/renter could obviously not afford to get out because they couldn’t afford to keep up with the payment. No one chooses to leave behind valuable and oftentimes immensely personal items. Clearly they are there and being auctioned due to non-payment, not abandonment.

Now I know the storage business is caught between a rock and a hard place. What are they supposed to do? They can’t just keep losing money on the space on someone who isn’t paying. So they need to recover what they can and get the unit rented to someone who can pay. I get that. I have less venom for them.

But there has to be another way to resolve this. And please, don’t try to paint the auction bidders as anything more than people seeing an opportunity to make a buck off someone else being down and out. This takes making a buck to the lowest level possible.

And of course I feel strongly about this because a few years back I personally have lost stuff to one of these auctions. I couldn’t pay, and all my stuff, years of personal items, gone, simply because I was in a financial bind.

There’s got to be a better way to resolve those situations. So shame on the article writer and shame on those vultures for trying to make this look like smart business.

Call it what it is.

An easy buck at someone else’s expense.

Chief Survivor

Pay Day Advances

You think you have it bad?

I have a ‘friend’, yeah right, okay it’s me who has seven pay day advance accounts. It’s has gotten so crazy that I sometimes forget which accounts are which. I have reached the point where I am borrowing from one pay day advance to pay off an old one.

Sad thing is, these places all know me by name.

At this rate, I’ll be working way past my retirement years to pay them all off!

Tina H.